Obsession and the Myth of Being Chosen
This week I watched Obsession.
On the surface, it’s a supernatural horror film about a young man who buys a cursed toy and uses it to make the girl he loves fall for him. Unsurprisingly, things go very wrong.
But beneath the horror, I found myself thinking about something else entirely.
The need to be chosen.
Not just in relationships.
In life.
How many of us are quietly waiting to be chosen?
For the job.
For the opportunity.
For the award.
For the relationship.
For the life we hope is just around the corner.
We tell ourselves that when it finally happens, everything will feel different. We’ll feel secure. Validated. Enough.
Bear believes that if Nikki loves him back, his life will finally make sense. The cursed toy removes the uncertainty. No risk of rejection. No difficult conversations. The answer simply becomes yes.
Yet the film’s greatest trick is showing us that getting what you want is not always the same as getting what you need.
I think that’s because being chosen has become one of society’s favourite myths.
We’re taught to chase it from childhood. Gold stars. Exam results. Promotions. Relationships. Recognition.
As if each one brings us closer to feeling worthy.
Yet worthiness doesn’t work like that.
If it did, successful people would never feel insecure. People in relationships would never feel lonely. People with awards would never question themselves.
But they do.
Because external validation is a moving target. There is always another milestone, another achievement, another person whose approval we think will finally make us feel complete.
What struck me most about Obsession was that Bear wasn’t really searching for love.
He was searching for certainty.
Proof that he mattered.
Proof that he was enough.
And I think many of us know that feeling.
We attach our happiness to a particular outcome.
"If I get that job, I’ll be okay."
"If they choose me, I’ll be okay."
"If this one thing happens, I’ll finally be happy."
Sometimes life gives us what we want.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
Either way, the real work remains the same.
Learning to believe we are enough before the answer arrives.
Perhaps that’s why the film stayed with me.
The horror isn’t the supernatural toy.
It’s the idea that we might spend years searching for validation in places it was never meant to live.
Sunday feels like a good day to remember that.
To stop waiting to be chosen.
And start choosing ourselves.
Quietly.
Consistently.
Without applause.
Without permission.
Just because we’re already worthy of it.
REFLECTION TOPICS
Self-worth
Identity
Personal growth
Validation
Life perspective
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